A Heart Full of Anger Has No Room for Love

I have always loved quotes and have always collected them as long as I can remember. When I began writing books I sprinkled my favorite quotes all throughout them and I constantly heard from people that they too enjoyed them. After many requests for a copy of “Joan’s Quote List” my book agent said, “I know what your next book should be”. He pitched the idea of a book of heartwarming and inspiring quotes and easily sold “Wake Up Calls”. There are several hundred quotes in the book, but the one that has attracted the most attention is “A heart filled with anger has no room for love.” I first heard this from a woman I had interviewed on Good Morning America who had written a book about what happened to her after her child was kidnapped and murdered. For many years the woman just could not recover from being so heartbroken and angry. She and her husband divorced and she was left bitter and depressed. It finally became evident to her that she needed to let go of her anger, if there was ever to be any room in her heart to love again. I always remembered her words and wrote about her in several of my books.

I recently got an email from a woman in Oregon, Julie, who wrote to tell me that her sister Katherine was dying of AIDS and that her sister’s dying wish was to talk to me. Julie had bought my book “Bend in the Road” and sat day after day reading it to her frail dying sister Katherine. Katherine had lived a very troubled life, sexually abused since 2 years old by their father, who then got her pregnant at age 13. Her sad, powerless violent childhood turned into an adult life consumed with alcoholism, abusive relationships and eventually homelessness and AIDS. As Julie read to Katherine about the power of forgiveness and letting go of your anger and your sad emotions, Katherine made a monumental decision. She told her sister “I must forgive my father for all the abuse and also the man who gave me AIDS.” Katherine was haunted by them and so consumed with anger and desperation, and she wanted some peace in her final dying days. When I read Julie’s letter I immediately picked up the phone and called. Katherine was so weak and frail that she could barely get the strength to talk to me as Julie held the phone to her ear.

Katherine thanked me for calling and told me that she finally felt like she was at peace and that it was because she had forgiven her abusers. She said she was able to do that because of what I had written in my book. Katherine was too weak to spend more than a few minutes on the phone with me, but it was a powerful few minutes for both of us. I was simply happy that I could provide a bit of comfort at this tragic time, and frankly I was blown away that something I had written had made such a huge impact on another human being. Over the next four days, I called to check on Katherine daily even though she was growing weaker and could barely respond to me. I told her “You don’t have to try to talk, I just want you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for you that you are truly at peace and also that you find a kinder gentler happier life when you pass. “I am at peace now and I’m ready to go home” she said to me. And then she added “Forgiving was harder than dying”. What a statement.

Four days after I met Katherine over the phone, she passed away. Her sister Julie thanked me again for making her sister's dying dream come true, and for calling each day. She said “It meant so much to Katherine and to me. “ If only they knew how much it meant to me, and what a profound impact they had made on my life.

An opportunity to touch someone’s life like I was able to touch Katherine’s is truly a gift. It reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes. “Life is the gift that God gives to you. What you do with your life, is your gift to God.”